Pip has since left Ultralab, after some enjoyable years working on the
Talking Heads project, and here is his profile which he wrote while he
was working with us:
Pip Bailey's home page - Biography by Arthur Sixpence
Pip is well known in concentric circles and has been mentioned in
despatches...(mainly because he wrote them to his Aunty Dot in
Hatfield).
Starting life in humble circumstances, he rose to great hights, (much
as the central mountain chain in Holland towers several feet above sea
level).
An early career in the Tax Office was cut tragically short when they
suddenly realised he had a sense of humour and that when it was
combined with dyslexic type difficulties, filing records was a bit of a
problem.
He then worked at countless jobs, (mainly because he could not count
very well), before deciding to train as a teacher where his single GSE
pass in home economics was at last valued.
Thenceforth, he studied Art and Education, and had enough wit to
blackmail the examiner, (after bribery had failed). He then went on to
teach in primary schools, finally ending up as a Deputy Head Teacher.
He is fondly remembered by both staff and children. One young man,
being detained at HM pleasure, remembers, with obvious emotion: "Was he
that beared git who taught us all them funny songs. I liked him. In
fact he was the only teacher I did like ...." (sorry, the rest is
censored).
Tiring of the thrusts and demands of teaching the little saints, and
seeing, with his beady weather watch eye, the gathering storm that was
to become the National Curriculum, he looked for other ways to slowly
kill himself and went off to train as and Educational Psychologist.
Having sucessfully burnt himself by jumpimg out of the frying pan and
into the fire, he did initially enjoy the change. But then, when the
"powers that be" began to want him to be a circus horse, (jumping
through hoops...Ed), he decided it was time to meet his destiny,
(having in the past found numerous why not to do so)!
It was at this cusp in his middle age that Ultralab rode into the
picture, a White Knigth in shining armour. Suddenly, all his talents
were used, (well that didn't take too long then did it...Ed)), and he
was amongst his own kind, home at last and happy.
Recently, (1/1/2001), he was created a "Life Pier", but this has just
been stripped of this honour from as it was found he was a very short
pier and people kept falling of the end of him. (What a waste...Ed)!
AS
(The large letter simple words type book of this is
avialbale to the "Hard of Understanding" range and is avaiable on audio
and video cassette priced 14 euros and is attainable from
"Idontbelieveit Press".)
(NB All views expressed in this biography are those of the author and
not Ultralab's. Any typing errors are down to ignorance and lack of
skill by the author..so there)!
